HW 57 - Initial Thoughts on Prom

When I first thought of prom as a young child I always dreamed it was this grand celebration where I would finally be an adult women. It was the night where i could do anything and I would be the Cinderella of the night. I would have my boyfriend (my date) pick me up in a limo, take photos in my pretty expensive dress, and party till the sun comes up. Everything would be perfect. I use to watch movies, and TV shows that would make me want to be grown already so I can finally experience this magical night. Going into high school this was a major topic in my head. I would discuss with my friends on what we would like to wear, who we wanted to ask us to prom, and any other fantasies we had because of these movies. Thinking of prom now i still have the same excitement to go and experience the big night.

With the discussions we had in class I never noticed how odd a prom could be to an outsider. Spending the minimum of $300 for just memories can seem highly dumb when you can use that money and buy something that you could personally use. Although they do say your memories of prom will last a lifetime. I immediately thought why do people never forget there prom night? Then I read in a article that prom night is considered a 'rite of passage', were you will leave the adolescent/high school life and enter the adult world were you formally gather with your friends and celebrate until midnight.

Personally even though it does seem ridiculous to spend over hundreds of dollars for a single night, I still can’t make the decision of not going. I feel I have to go, and I really want to go.

Do other countries have prom, if so how is it different from New York?

Why is prom a rite of passage?

Who invented the word prom and why did they choose to use the word prom to mean a prom?

Why does prom make you an adult?

xc - COTD2.

When watching Harold and Maude I found that the theme of the movie was polarity.
Harold who is a young man was obsessed with death. He meets Maude A 79 year old women who is obsessed with life, and experiencing all aspects of it, to the point of knowing what its like to steal a police car. Harolds mother seems to be the complete middle road in the fact that she is preoccupied with getting her son hooked up, with a women in the hopes that it will cure him of his obsession with death. Harolds mother goes as far as buying him a brand new Jaguar sports car which to me kind of symbolizes a kind of macho object as men like to use hot sports cars to pick women.

There is an irony in that Harold doesn’t begin to live, until he meets Maude who believes that no one should live beyond the age of eighty. In the movie Harold and Maude had sex and Harold wanted to marry Maude, but there was disgust from the families’ minister/priest.

When Maude OD’s on pills on her 80th birthday Harold learns the true meaning of life. Which is symbolized by him driving his Jaguar Hearst off of a cliff, and the closing scene of him walking away happily, to the Cats Steven closing song, means to me that Harold is now into living life to the fullest like Maude instead of dying, or being around death.

xc - COTD1

As I was walking around the first cemetery I went to I saw all of the headstones and they were all ground level head stones. This made me contemplate why were these headstones at ground level rather then a traditional one? I also noticed that the headstones that were ground level did not have a lot of information on the person who had died. All you saw was their name. I immediately thought back to when we had our first guest speaker. He briefly talked about what would happen if no one would claim the body of love dead one. He said that the government would take care of it, and bury in a grave. I did some brief researched and I found that they also might cremate but scatter it in a area for unclaimed bodies. (http://www.weegy.com/?ConversationId=7E15KJBK)

I thought a lot about what kind of headstone I would want to have if I did choose a burial. I saw in the second cemetery they had extravagant head stones. I don’t even think they should be called head stones, but more of sculptures. I wish I could of taken a picture of this particular one but since it was to far back and we couldn’t go inside I could only describe it. It was a gravestone that was taller then 6 feet and it was a sculpture of an angel and she was standing on a big slab of stone under her, which I am assuming was the information regarding who had passed on. Why would someone choose this type of head stone?

In conclusion viewing all these cemeteries really made me want to plan my death and how I would want it instead of leaving it to the hand of the government or even worse my family. Personally if I want a burial I think that I will go with an extravagant headstone that is not like any other out there in the world. It makes people view your grave and think about the person underneath you.

xc - COTD3

Before going to the bodies exhibit I was very skeptical on what my experience there was going to be like. I am extremely squeamish when it comes to body parts and blood so I already new that this was going to be a challenge for me. Surprisingly I found this experience fascinating and very educational but at the same time it also made me think about a lot of questions and made me very unsure about the morals of this exhibit.
The very first emotion that I had when seeing the their bodies was total disgust, I was actually contemplating leaving but considering I spent $30 for the admission ticket and I didn’t want to look like the squeamish one in front of all my friends, so I decided to tough it out. At first the experience for me was sort of like a bad car accident you know you shouldn’t look but you cant look away. For the longest time I was staring into the eyes of what looked like an Asian man in the sitting and thinking position and at a split second I went from thinking, “ this is weird and cool” to thinking,“ at one time this was a living person”. I can understand the argument that this museum could be for educational purposes and a lot of people learn visually so going to this museum of bodies would be more educational than looking at the book “ The human anatomy”. This whole experience got me thinking, in order for someone to make this museum they had to get the bodies from another country? Why? In the United States there has been 1,173 legal executions since September 1 2009, that’s enough bodies to make 5 museums, considering the NYC museum has 200 bodies. So why china? My first thought was there would be no way people would go to this museum if they knew it was American bodies because that would just make us look barbaric. So I decided to try in find out why they used bodies from china and the answer became very clear to me, because there is no real answer. They actually never make it clear where these bodies actually come from, all they say is “Although all the bodies are unclaimed and from the Chinese police, Premier could not independently verify more about them, such as whether the bodies are of prisoners that were executed by the Chinese government.” “This exhibit displays human remains of Chinese citizens or residents which were originally received by the Chinese Bureau of Police. The Chinese Bureau of Police may receive bodies from Chinese prisons. Premier cannot independently verify that the human remains you are viewing are not those of persons who were incarcerated in Chinese prisons.” When I went to the website of Bodies nowhere could I find a explanation of where there bodies came from, the condition these people were in before they died, and what was the cause of execution, all valid questions I would like to know before looking at an exhibit I know nothing about. One argument I heard constantly on Internet forums, not even a website I can properly quote was that these prisoners have signed a document stating that the Chinese government can use there bodies for experiments. Assuming that’s true that still does not explain why we can’t do that to our own American executed bodies. At least using American bodies would make the exhibit more interracial. I believe the Chinese government is lying about the conditions of the bodies, lying about the sort of treatment these prisoners have had and the owners of this museum know it. They know by using American bodies the public would be so far up there ass they would never be able to get this museum up and running.
In conclusion I found the Bodies exhibit very fascinating, but at the same time it made me feel like what I was looking at was morally wrong because I don’t know the full truth of where these bodies actually come from, and I suspect I never will. I think the idea of bodies is interesting but I find the search of the truth behind bodies more interesting.

HW 55 - Culminating Project - Care of the Dead

For my project on the care of the dead I decided to interview my family. Unfortunately they didn’t want to be filmed. I wanted to hear about what my parents wanted to happen after they die because after hearing the first funeral director who came in he really made me think about what I wanted to do. I went to my mom and asked her, she flat out said “god forbid Lora! Please don’t talk about death” This struck my mind. I thought back to when death was always brought up, my mom felt the need to change the subject as soon as she could. This made me change my project to why are people afraid to talk about death? I asked my family this and they all seemed to have the same exact answer. “Its like a curse”. They feel that if talking about it enough, it’s going to eventually happen. Then I brought up the point “well aren’t we going to die anyway?” Then they gave me a look.

When I visited my grandmother recently I brought up the topic to her, and what I was thinking of doing when I pass on. She got up and hit me. She said “Never talk about you dying, say god forbid a thousand times over”, and I did. She didn’t want to talk about her plans or anyone in the families for that matter. But I find her using death as a way to get what she wants. She will tell me “I’m old”, “I don’t have enough time”, “I’m going to be a little star in the sky looking down on you” in order to get the family to do what ever she wants, and not surprisingly we do it. We do it because in the slight chance she is right I don’t want that feeling of “she told me so” or for her to feel we wouldn’t care if she died.

I wish that when I was younger my family had been very open with death. When my grandmother passed away it was very hard on the family. It was the biggest loss I had ever had; I didn’t know how to handle it except through mixed emotion. I know now that home funerals help with the grieving process, I also know what’s going on to my loved one while in the mortuary, all this insight I learned from this unit will help me in the future with the grieving process and help me talk about it before it happens, so I can get closure.

HW 52 - Third Third of the COTD Book

In the last part of Morticians Diaries by June knights Nadle its describes the experiences she has been through while being a mortician,

“I have cried myself dry on his shoulder” p93

he counseled those assembled to remember that the quality of life was more important than the quantity.” p 94

he gave me his vital statistics, said he preferred to be cremated, and then said that the service details could be decided by his parents or sister. P 103

“These are difficult cases we handle these days p106

“This mother lost her son twice-once by her own rejection and then by his death’p107
…:I Was intrigued with the Japanese sections strange decorations. Often food was at the head of the grave…p111

“my mother was in the hospital on life support for two weeks. The doctor recommended removing life support for two weeks”

In the last part of the book a few stories really stuck out to me. There was one story about a gay man and his parents disowned him because of it. But when the mother heard he was dying he didn’t want her to see him like that and he also didn’t want anyone to see his dead body. The gay man named Gary and his partner was Boyd. The mother of Gary tried to press charges against the partner because she felt she had rights as a mother to see her son. But they hired a durable power of attorney that allowed Gary’s wishes to remain, this confused me a little on what durable power of attorney does.

HW 51 - Second Third of COTD Book

In the second part of the book of morticians diaries by June Knights Nadle, you read stories of families who have been through the loss of loved ones. Although in some of the stories you don't hear the "traditional" morning going on. In one of the stories a widow named Janice Bott lost her husband named Andrew had passed. He didnt want a funeral service at all."with Andrew gone I'm so lonely I could die" p50 But instead of a funeral they planned a mass for a whole weeek then after everyone would go out to eat. "People talked, laughed, and simply enjoyed the hour together with food and drink." p51. I have yet to seen or been to a service and seen people basically have fun. Later in the storie she mentions how everything helped her with her husbands passing. This made me think that maybe the issue of a funeral service has a lot to do with how a person will copp with the death of a lost one.


"thanks for encouraging me to come today. instead of forgetting it all happened, i feel good remembering some wonderful times, too. p57

"unresolved grief or anger can create behavioral, mental, and health problems over time." p69